Let’s get one thing out in the open, I’m a massive pessimist, the first thing I do whenever we score a goal is look at the linesman. I’ve spent too long watching Everton to consistently “look on the bright side”. So the usual me, the miserable one, knows for a fact that Palace will win today.
The most Everton stat you can find today is the one that tells you that Sky Lantern Head Allardyce hasn’t won a game yet with his new team. If a striker hasn’t scored a goal for eighteen years, or a goalie hasn’t kept a clean sheet since 1876, it’s f**ing nailed on that Everton will be rolling into town next game.
However, and this is a big however, the last few weeks or so, I’ve started to believe. Whisper it quietly, but I’m getting the feeling that the squad are finally getting to grips with what Koeman wants. Ronald Koeman, or Ronald Trump as my seven year old christened him after staring at him from the Family Enclosure for 90 minutes recently due to him having the same colour hair as the Yank buffoon, has not really worked his way into my affections yet. Can’t put my finger on it really but for some reason I’ve just not taken to him.
After the Derby I was fuming with him, daft subs, no tactics etc, but taking that game out (we never f***ing beat the b**tards anyway) he seems to be getting a tune out of this squad recently. A win today and I may consider cancelling my counselling sessions. Will it happen? Or will we “Everton it”? After last week, anything is possible isn’t it?
I saw a stat that said we had four shots on target against City, four shots four goals, that’s one of the most un-Everton stats I’ve ever seen and should give even me and my Morrisey like miserable arse a shot of optimism.
One thing I will say about Ronald Trump though he is very hard to predict, not hard to predict in a Roberto Martinez paying 12 million for a striker who can’t use his head or feet way, but unpredictable in the way that as at the time of writing we have no idea what eleven he will go with. He has flitted between two and three centre halfs all season and with or without wingers but today I want to see the same eleven as last week with the exception of Schneiderlin for old Gaz Baz. Now I like Barry and won’t get on the recent bandwagon of getting on his back, but I don’t think he’s up to consecutive games nowadays, he’s slow at the best of times but when he looks tired he has the turning circle of the 14C.
The other big decision is who keeps goal. I’ve said all season that both are goalies are cack, but to be fair, I rate all keepers on the 1 to Southall scale so I’m hard to impress. Of the two though, I prefer Robles, or Joel as he has on his shirt (if I ever get signed up by the Toffees, I’m simply having “Fran” on my shirt, unlikely at 40 like). Although this should be a pre-requisite for a goalie, he’s a good shot stopper it seems. I went off Steklenburg when he let Alvaro Negredo “Andy Gray” him into the net against Boro. The f***ers 8 foot 6 for f*** sake, nobody should be bullying him. Neville Southall would’ve been rolling in his grave….if he was dead. I’d also give him another shot solely on the back of his 80 yard sprint to join in the goal celebrations. He seems to “get” Everton and deserves a run I think.
The other one who is probably looking over his shoulder is Mirallas. One his day he can be superb, when he’s not on his day we may as well start Stephen Hawkins. On the strength of the City game alone though, he should get another start. If he does start though, expect him to be replaced around the 60 min mark by Lookman, who looks a real prospect already and has come on loads since starring in Different Strokes.
So, at around 17:00 today I will either be dusting off a Smiths album or doing the Macarena with my dog, who as an aside is called Barry, but after the Brookside character, not the yellow card enthusiast. So, I’ll see you all again tomorrow when we dissect the game to pieces and all praise/slag the manager/players/referee/Barry the dog. Remember, NSNO, only the best is good enough, or failing that, a draw at least……..
A pessimistic Evertonian… Now there’s a revolutionary stance. The club has more money now but a superfluous contingent of players who were acquired out of desperation rather than first choice and the financial clout that particular privilege requires. Can’t win games with only half a team of class players. Need a full team. But to be honest coming off the back of a great win over city when the youth of the team shone brightest to now berating the team before its kicked a ball in the game yet is pretty poor form. Then to post that in a vain attempt to depress us all is just weird. Oh I see the fans should derive some form of pleasure from a down in the mouth fan. We’re all long suffering pal but the clubs built on loyalty, optimism and hope. If we were all of your ilk the club would have folded before it became as great as it once was.
Franny, great piece, funny in places, love the pic of lying git Fat Sam! Thought we was going to lose?? 1-4 should have been, fair reflection of game! Oh ze of little faith!!!! Stoke up next same again Ronny!!!!!! Hope to have 3 more signings by then, needed!!!!!!
Tongue in cheek Marko, lighten up.